“I have been trying to weasel my way out of this day for years; I am terrified to share, but feel that it’s an important time to do just that. I couldn’t do this without the strength of the families around me every day.
Today isn’t about schooling, lessons, PowerPoints, icebreakers or Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need. Well, it is, but I don’t need to go over it.
Let’s face it, we work for an outstanding organisation, Home-Start Wessex, and we are privileged to have worked hard to get here. We have researched and read and grafted. We trust our instincts and we are leaders in our fields. We know what we do, but we don’t always know why. Me teaching you that will just be an insult to your extensive journey to get here and your own intelligence in your own fields.
Today is about confidence, passion and success. I know that I have worked hard to establish the groups and I think by now you all know what we do from our website. I will never never stop talking about it, writing about it or sharing my stories.
Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant. Making the unknown known is important. So here I am to tell you about our groups with my whole heart, making the unknown known.
It’s hard to wrap up what we do in a in a picture; there are no words sometimes, but there is magic, understanding, commitment and trust. We break down barriers, not create them. We are inclusive and flexible without judgement. We never shy away for a challenge and the families will never feel our pain, but we will always feel theirs alongside them.
That being said, Michelle Dixon, Senior Coordinator at Home-Start Wessex, introduced me to a picture on my first day here 5 years ago, and I think it captures what we offer quite well… There is nothing a cuppa cannot cure.
When I was 11 years old, the same age as my son now, my life and lovely bubble of security changed. Someone took from me my most precious attributes; innocence and trust.
My whole childhood left.
After that moment in time, I felt exposed and awkward. To me, everyone else seemed so together and life seemed easy for them. I felt alone, a loser in a world that preferred superheroes.
So, I made my own capes and tied them tight around me. Those capes were “pretending” and, later on, “addiction.” We all have our own capes, don’t we?
Perfectionism, Workaholic, Apathy…
Our capes are what we put on so we can’t be hurt and fall; our capes we put over ourselves so we don’t have to feel and we can protect our tender selves.
So for 19 years I pulled my capes around me, “Pretending and Addictions.” They kept me hidden, I didn’t feel much at all; all the bad was deflected off of them.
I plunged myself into working, burning the candle at both ends, faking it and making it. Or so I thought…
We as humans are truth-tellers and although we were brought up to respond to someone who asks how we are doing with “I AM FINE AND YOU?” We were also born to make our unknown known.
We WILL find somewhere to do it and so, in private amongst the booze, overspending, shopping, food, abusive relationships, obsessive compulsive behaviour, infidelity, we tell the truth.
The truth is not FINE, I didn’t feel safe in the real world, so I made my own world… Addiction and numbness or whatever capes that were available. I ended up in this little controllable, small, predictive dark world instead of all together in the big, bright, messy one.
So, I found myself! As cheesy as it may seem, it happened. I left the UK and travelled India alone, sober and for the first time I realised how big, bright and messy the world really was. I left my own head and started to repair. I returned fully recovered in ways and met my now-husband, my everything, left the darkness and became a parent. Since becoming a parent and striving to make this world work for our family, I entered the world of Early Years when I was pregnant and qualified as a Level 3 Childminder, moving to Southbourne from London; a fresh start.
As my son moved through education, I did too. Lunch Room Assistant, Level 3 Teaching Assistant, ELSA Practitioner, After School Club Leader. Through Early Years to Year 7, I supported every age group. I found my love and passion outside of parenting; I could give so much to so many and I met so many fantastic teachers, but I knew I didn’t want to teach and I foresaw the mental strain it had on the individuals, so I needed a change.
Thankfully, I was chosen by Home-Start South East Dorset then, now Wessex, to be a Family Group Support Worker assisting in groups where my passion to support, encourage and walk alongside the families became apparent, moving to Group Leader and now Manager.
I have never worked for such a fantastic place where the staff as a whole are selfless and determined to make a difference. Supportive and fascinated in the successes of others, I am humbled every day by the families and the lives of many and I feel truly honoured that I am trusted by so many and let in to guide, support and celebrate such achievements.
Friendship is the outstanding quality which has been integral to Home-Start Wessex from the beginning and which has helped to make the most wonderful organisation. A recipe for success in the prevention of family breakdown.
Something 11 year old me really needed.
Kerry Rosam”